Mr. Trashcan is Full - Muffin Disaster Part 2

Thursday, May 17, 2007

It is Thursday, May 17, 2007. Last night I went to Trader Joe's and got me some frozen organic WILD blueberries. They didn't have baking powder, but cans and cans of baking soda. It was like they were mocking me. I went to Ralphs to pick up the baking powder. While there, I was talking to my friend and had to hang up the phone because my arms hurt. Why? Was it a cooking injury? No, I went to the YMCA and learned how to use 8 upper body torture machines. Oh dear. I was in pain and it was only 30 minutes after I stopped exercising...but I digress. Needless to say, I'm popping lots of ibruprofen.

So, this morning I wake up at 5:00 am to try the blueberry muffins again. Arms kill while trying to whisk those damn wet ingredients. Anyway, things go well. Those damn wild blueberries are really much better for this recipe - they are cute and small. Yeah, and I'm sure using baking powder will help out.

Bake the muffins for 350 degrees (I bought an oven thermometer before starting on this mission) for 27 minutes. Tops are light brown. Toothpicks comes out clean in the 5 muffins I tested (yes, a little overkill, but I wanted to make sure they were done).

I pull them out and pop them out like the book says. Well, darn it, the book is wrong. Again, muffins are flying and getting themselves totally smashed and flattened! It was and will always be the start of a train wreck. One of the little buggers stays in the pan and I leave it there while I try to fix my hot purple dough balls. Turns out that by leaving the muffins in the pan for about 5 minutes, they come out with a much better shape. Take that, Cook's Illustrated!

I let them cool to the touch and finally taste one (of course, you taste the ugliest one so you can bring the handsome ones into work or the party). Although they don't taste like salty metal like yesterday, they just taste very bland and "doughy." Sweet Jesus. What does it take to make a decent muffin?

This batch of so-called baked goods (more like "baked bads") met the same fate as yesterday's muffins. Mr. Trashman is full. My co-workers think I'm making up this whole baking thing by now.

I feel it is best for my mental health if I move on from the muffin and try something else! Cakes is next!!!
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